A MONTH

Crap! It's almost been a month since I last updated. I left off with my heart still in Chini. So much has happened since then. There was this period in life where things was static. Nothing to do, nowhere to go and suddenly, I'm busy like a bee. But let's see if I can remember the things that happened in the last month:

1. My girlfriend's birthday
2. Never-ending journey to JB
3. BFF trip to PD
4. The thing about art
5. Something about piercing and an innocent wall

And coming soon:

1. Raya Haji - hosting luncheon
2. Melaka trip + art thingy
3. KK work trip - yay free trip!!

So much to update from the list of activities done and about to take place. I'm going to take a break for now and will return in a month to just take another break. Awesome plan! Woot!

Will update soon.

I LEFT MY HEART IN CHINI TIMUR

You all know that song "I left my heart in San Francisco"?  This is similar:

The loveliness of Chini 
Seems somehow sadly true 
The glory that was Chini 
Is of another day 
I've been terribly alone 
And forgotten in Damansara
I'm going home to my city by the hill
But I left my heart in Chini Timur.

High on a hill, it calls to me.
To be where little homes
Opens their heart to me!
The morning fog may chill the air
I don't care!
My love waits there in Chini Timur
Above the long bumpy road
When I come home to you, Chini Timur,
Your golden sun will shine for me!

Ok I don't really want to live there but I heart every moment of being there despite the repetitive routine. It's a different interaction each time. It's a whole lot of experience but one at a time. I know that won't be the last time. Soon I'll cross the misty and foggy hills to get to where my heart is.

FELDA

Not many of us would say that we're lucky. Or that we have it made or have it good. I've been sent on a mission alongside my mates to train a group of FELDA settlers in Chini Timur to use a community based device. These selected group of FELDA settlers will be getting a special device designed and developed by a Malaysian research group for first time Internet users. Not computer but the Internet! Big difference.

This is an excellent device. I can't yet mention the name but I am proud to be a part of the missionary. The product, content and effort is totally legit and even worthy. My team, well my company have been selected to distribute the device as well as manage it's push content center. We get to work closely with participants in providing them with appropriate and important content to them.

I've always wanted to work for a cause. This is a good cause. A cause to help highly appreciative people to gain knowledge and be part of the digital era. They're not young people and it's amazing to see how excited and willing they are to learn and adapt something new. Sure they're getting free stuff but that's not why they attended our training. They wanted more. They wanted to use and show off skills. They're good people.

At the same time my team and I are working on a separate project for the young. We want people to read, comprehend and speak in English. Why? Because it's not hard.

But I want to talk about FELDA settlers. I am truly excited to have met them and more tomorrow. To my surprise, they much more than what I had expected. Friendly bunch. Shy at first but crack a few jokes, get them to talk and they won't stop. We've received countless invitations to visit their homes the next time we visit and they'll cook us a meal or two. How sweet right? I know. I love one thing about the whole thing - sincerity.

You see, I was oblivious of this fact but now I know - FELDA settlers are a bunch of hopefuls with lots of money. But they live moderately. The government help a whole lot. Subsidies, loans, housing, allowances, etc but not for nothing. They're given training, courses, life-long lessons, financial planning and education to make a living. They're put in a small community and it is their own responsibility to make a life for the families and develop their own community. What I'm saying is that they appreciate the gifts and unlike some of us, they give back to the society.

So enough complaining about them of other bumiputeras who are given the government benefit because they don't take it for free. They make a living out of these gifts. They own businesses, they sell produces, they contribute to large industries, they give us food! They even manage to build their own township and before we know it, they're the new Damansara. Ask yourself what would you do if you were given such help? Would you use it or abuse it? Most of us would say, use it better but that's a lie because you already have an eye on that new car, new pair of heels or a European holiday. I may be judging but people who really need the help, they accept it as that and not because they think they deserve it.

I don't want to get political. I have no intention to do so. I am saying that I love what I have encountered and I want to be someone who helps. My mission in life. I love life more than ever. I feel passionate and I can't wait to get things going. I pray for this to be a success and for all your support.

I heart FELDA.

EWWW!!!

I'm watching MTV Made and thank God it's over but seriously EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! This dude just wants to go on a date, kiss a girl (all rejected) and get invited to parties. Sure you'll get all of that weirdo when MTV crew is following you all over! Fuck man he is so fucking ugly and kinda pervy. EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Ok why am I so mean? But seriously eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

NOISE

I live in a condominium. Low density and the walls are quite thick. You can say that it's on the high end side. If you were to visit the basement carpark bays, you'll see a mix of wealth. You'll bump into expats on your way down and inter-racial couples. You'll see beautiful children speaking in all kinds of languages. The gym is filled with Japanese housewives chitty chatty while their husbands are off singing at a farawy karaoke armed with night women. Occasionally, you'll come across local celebrities who obviously Google themselves and never will they smile back at you.

Then there's the weekend at my condominium. This is an odd one. Sometimes I spend my weekend outside the house. There are other times where I just sit at home all day and all night. This is when I hear them noises.

In the day time, you'll hear cooking and awesome smell. Children running and screaming in and out of the house along the corridor. Well you'll notice that this thing with the children sometimes goes all the way pass midnight. Yes they are real human children. At nights, you'll also hear loud cheers. Most likely from football fans. Occasionally you hear women screaming (yes real human women too) as a result from a cheating husband. Not pleasant but it happens.

You see, what you need to know about this condominium is that it is filled with 2nd wives, mistresses and the other woman. Why do I say this? Is it a stereotype when you see old men walking hand in hand with a young, sometimes pregnant women? Perhaps but it is obvious when you see the men only once in a while and the women way too often. You get what I mean.

Now Sunday mornings are a bit peculiar. We do have a common hall area where I've personally witness weddings, festivities and even pointless invitations that goes down there. It is not sound proof so yes you can hear everything that goes on down there. At least from my unit. So careful if you're gossiping out loud. But that is not the peculiar bit. It is the Sunday morning non-stop honking followed by super loud manly cheers. Yes a Chinese wedding. Most annoying if you'd like to enjoy a long sleep on Sunday mornings. I'm fine cause I wake up early. But sometimes pisses me off when I'm trying to watch something on TV. Other than that, it is bearable.

Another thing about this place is that you'll either find yourself with a super-friendly neighbour or ultra stuck-up kind of neighbour. They are all harmless but it wouldn't hear your neck to lift your head and say hello or just smile. This is my condo life... well the ones I'm willing to share for now.

TIME

Today I find myself with a lot of time. Although my lungs and back are still hurting, I'm still eager for my therapeutic cleaning routine. But then I don't have to rush to work afterwards. So this is when I realize that I've got time on my hands.  Only question is, what do I do with it?

So I cleaned. All that done. Stomach growling. Made coffee. I was still sweating so I don't like to shower immediately. So I paced and then decided that I should turn on my laptop. Play a little on Facebook. Go about my social game businesses and surf the web. Still so much time in hand. Blog then!

Now what do I do about this hunger? I am hungry. We did plan on going for 'Nasi Padang" in KL but what's the rush right? Maybe I'll go in a little bit. Then afterwards we can go look at some development projects. We're house-hunting. Well I'm positive that next year will be different. I pray for it to be.

I'm taking personal steps towards happiness and I already feel happy. I think my clean house contributes to it. No sense of havoc or chaos. My heart feels calm. Nothing else matters. Healthy mind. Feels free. I avoid all things that will lead to a crisis. I try my best and steer clear. So far so good.

Now time... I like this. Lots of time.

WRITE WRITE WRITE

I need juice. Lots of juice. Not the kind with pulps. Not too much fibre in it too. I just need it smooth and keep it coming. Like free tab or something. Maybe it's just coffee I desire. Ok enough drink drama. I need to get serious with my shit.

See, I don't know if I hate my job or actually love the idea of my job. Ideally, this is good. But really, it sucks. (Note to self: Get A Foot Stool). Comfort is vital. At home, at work, in the kitchen, while driving and friendship. All of these are part of my daily life. Just that lately, it is quite dreadful to go about it. Nothing inspires. Nothing pushes me to the edge. I want to be on that edge. The exciting kind of edge. Not the one where you fall of the cliff and break every bones in your body.

The only kind of edge I feel is not really edge just stress. Financially I'm crappy. My life and soul feels empty. I'd be lying if I told you that money does nothing to me. It does a lot to me apparently. I got some but I want more. But is money my motivation? Na-uh. I discovered that it isn't. At the moment I'm forgetting my motivation. I had one. I have to go back in time to find it. Crap right? Yeah I know.

Now it's the part for the truth. I AM SIMPLY LAZY MAN! What's the cure for laziness seriously? There isn't any! No matter what you do, if you're a fuckin' lazy ass bitch then I say just live with it. Once in a while, things get done. Happy or not? Well that's individual prerogative. I personally feel nothing when being lazy but I know when to stop. I'd feel like dying. Lethargic and over exhaustion would be your first sign. So then get off your ass and go out. Refresh, rejuvenate and relive.

I know I'm not making any sense right now. Just that I had this idea that if I put everything down right now, I'd just be all new. I don't think it's really working but at least my nonsense is off my chest. Believe me I want something else off my chest too. But that is kind of a permanent fixture. I don't like it too much. One day I'll get it reduced. But you see, money is now the problem so that ain't going to happen soon.

Damn it is really hot these days. The best is to just stay naked all day and indoors. But a part of me wants to get out, go see the world, take pictures and upload. Yeah that's what FB do to me. In my defense, I haven't uploaded anything in ages. I haven't been out in ages. Wait I haven't been out with a camera in ages. That explains it.

I seem to find myself disappearing particularly on a Friday. It's like it don't exist. It comes, it brings excitement with it but I am just not one of those people who get turned on by it. It has no effect on me. Don't get me wrong, I used to feel for Friday. Hey "it's Friday I'm in love". There used to be a purpose. There use to be a reason to celebrate. But now, it disappears with me.

Simple get-together over say a glass of iced tea was actually a routine. Routine being routines, it bores you after a while. To bore me is simply easy. I get fed up with the same old crap bag stories and insults. I get tired of meaningless laughters and offended quite so often. Now I wait once a year to do all that. It gives me a bit of joy because I don't really want to go back to routine hang out. I like the annual stuff. Well honestly, it won't hurt if it was a monthly thing. However should we just recap "I AM LAZY!".

What the hell am I so lazy about?

For one, I am beyond the notion of driving. I feel tired just starting up the engine. Don't even get started on leaving the gate. I live in Damansara Perdana where leaving the area is a chore. I work around the area too so it should give me some motivation to actually leave the area but I tend to go into hiding mode. Now that work gets done in the house, I have no place to hide. Actually I rarely get any work done. Go figure.

OMG I am so lazy that I didn't even post this up yesterday. Yes I wrote this yesterday. After getting some exciting news about a project, I totally lacked the desire to whine. So here goes.