Dah Sampai

Kami sudah sampai! Wahai diari...

Native tongue dying for some exposure so dapat lah tu sikit. So we've moved, we're here and we're painting. It was worse yesterday. We had paint smell mixed with glue and it rained the entire time... stone je semua. It feels great though. I see all my men and women working together yet highly independent in their tasks. It's like looking at my dream team and i know they can do anything they want but they chose to be doing it with me. I'm a proud momma.

Nevertheless, I know I can't keep everyone single person happy. It's more than just a new office, a new direction and a new strategy. Sometimes there are factors beyond my control like personal agendas, self frustration and family related issues. So i do my best. Shine a light on a rainy day. Heck I need that for myself too sometimes.

Freaky Freakaayyyy!

Ok yo! This is super freaky that i must let Dear diary be a part of it. I'm not someone who believes in horoscope much but sometimes, it overwhelms me. Since i had a tough break yesterday, i decided to read my horoscope today and my oh my am i freaked out! This is insane yo!

I'm a Virgo and it says:

The time is right for you to make a career move. Your talents are developed well enough for you to take the next step towards your goals. Go after that promotion or start searching for a better position elsewhere or even go out on your own. You may be a little nervous about, but the planets are in your favor. Act boldly and you will get to where you want to be much quicker.

Then it says this in regards to loved ones:

It's a time when you are likely to come to a very clear, definite decision about an important relationship at this time. A very good time to let someone know exactly what you want. You are not in the mood to compromise in your plans, ideas, or desires, just don't shove them down someone's throat as you're likely to be disappointed with the response. Use your charm and emotions to emphasize how much you care.

Damn girl!

Living Healthy

I've decided to change our blog title Dear diary.

I feel like i was living an unhealthy life. Y'know waiting to write on only one day of a week. Even more worse that bottling all my discontent and pouring them out in just one shot. This isn't a beer drinking contest. It's our blog so we should write as and when we want. At least the readers would enjoy it more. If there are any. Oh wait, I know many.

So life as it is, will be going through some major changes. Minor ones happen everyday whether I like or not. I try to make the best of every shite situation. I think I've done well with it.

A little update on yesterday's drama... I now feel rather tickled by the whole thing. If I was a Christian, I'd cross my fingers and hope he will keep his word. But as a Muslim, I raised my hands close to my chest, palms facing upwards and pray that he is the man of his words.

I wouldn't bet on it. Nonetheless, one should have faith, no matter what the odds are.

Dear diary,

I'm not sure if it went well or not but i want to believe something will be done about it. I'm having faith in others. That's my weakness but it can surprise me. I'm hoping for a grand surprise.

Dear diary,

Boy has things gone out of hand. I believe I was being as liberal as I could think only in the best interest for both businesses. I heard my own tone when typing those very words. However as I had expected, she responded in a high tone enforcing authority once again instead of considering it in a business-like manner. There is no looking beyond personal gains for her. I am so not proud of her on that one.

Somehow it has gotten out of control and she goes about like a raging bitch stepping beyond the border of patience. Lucky enough, I am not at all upset or angry with her response. I still pretty much cool and I am still thinking of how to make her see this as a beneficial merger for both businesses. I am soon meeting my other option so I hope that goes well. Although in history, It had rarely gone my way with this option. At this point, I just think it’s worth a try.

Wish me luck readers.

Just a little something before I go make a future for my team… If your Monday starts bad, you could still turn thinks around as you have till Sunday to do that. Be positive.

Eh… I forgot to spice up your Monday.

Dear diary, the funny thing is, I forgot what was I suppose to be doing today. So I’ve been sitting in front of my computer, surfing a crap load of stuff for purpose I could not determine. Then I look around my huge desk and realize I couldn’t find anything except scattered papers with scribbles on it. For some reason, my calculator (one I use to calculate cost and profit) is faced down. It’s almost like it refuses to calculate no more. Well maybe it needs a break. Question is, do I need another break?

I don’t think so. I just need to find my notepad and check my itinerary or maybe stuff that I had written down that could refresh my blurring thoughts. Blurring thoughts isn’t so bad as compared to my blurring sight. As a result to prolonged stubbornness, my eyesight is now blurry (could lead to blindness) if I go without my glasses (like I always do). I get a headache if I wear them for too long but the doctor did say about 20 years ago that I have to be wearing them all the time. Ok except when I sleep. 20 years later, I’m still trying to get use to the idea. I can’t put on contact lenses due to irregular cornea crap. So, either I get use to being four-eyed or spend my life savings to correct my eye. That is only 50-50% chance of possible apparently.

Last night though, I had a fruitful discussion with my fairies. Everyone is finally on the same page and I hope there is no personal agenda behind the whole thing. Well ladies can get spiteful. So I got to be a bit careful and caring. But here’s the thing about working with your friends and well life partner, you can’t avoid the politics no matter how we all say, “There’ll be no politics”. Why? Because of things being casual from the start. I had realized now well for a while that due to this new setting, everyone wants to be heard. So I listen left and right. But when I speak, I wonder if anyone listens.

This curiosity is simply because, after I speak, I realized that either one or both did not understand what I just said. Ok let me rephrase, they did not catch my point. Ok sometimes I must say I can’t stand the interruption when I’m speaking but you see, due to indirect politics, I can’t say anything about that. But it gets to me. I get over it though but if this is to continue in the future, I don’t think it will work. My other option is to put my foot down and enhance my authority. However that is not my style. So I have to figure out what to do before things get out of hand in the future. All I need is for them to listen as I listen to them and well have respect for my guts to begin this in the first place, therefore my given authority. But like I said, it only happens sometimes.

I think I’m quite liberal and open. It’s not hard to come to me with ideas or suggestions but as much as you hate hostile approach from your bosses, that’s how much your bosses hate hostile feedbacks. Well at least the fruit of the discussion is well stored and when the time comes, it shall still be good to share.

I’m still not sure of my purpose today so I have to go figure that out now. Later!

Boy! Have things changed or what?!

Dear diary, I have regained my health, ok well I still have that phlegm annoyance factor going on but still I feel great. Things have really been changing around here. My wish, my request has finally caught some attention. Right now it’s about pulling the right strings to get it on the road. In no time I say, in no time at all, things will get into place and I can finally say I’ve done it.

I can’t believe how busy I am for a week starter. I had to make a wise business decision this morning and I put some great amount of thought into it. When I made the decision, I felt great. It felt right. I pulled on the right string today. Now that’s an awesome start. If that’s not good enough, my week is packed. Action-packed! Some nerve-wrecking incidents I predict will take place this week and I’m sure at the end of it, I’ll feel some burden lifted off my shoulder. Well I can wish and hope. Look where that got me!

So I don’t have much to say this week considering the fact that I’m grateful with what I had received just recently. I am content. Maybe just maybe, things will just hang on to this pace in life. I love it. Feels right.

Till next week!

I missed last week’s entry. It was on purpose. I lost it. Damn it I lost it dear diary! Lost what? Uhhuh that’s right.

I did not suffer from a writer’s block no. It was far from it. I was writing here and there. Nothing however had a punch line. Nothing stuck like glue. It was all loose and bare. I had no will to go on when I find that everything I wrote has been written by myself in some ways before. Now that people I must say is dreadful.

I sunk into a low and deep depression. My msn status remained at “rolling over and dying” throughout the entire week. I had just lost my will to be inspired. What more to write huh? Basically, I spent the week feeling sick and shitty. Until finally, a 9 hour meeting hit my guts last Friday. Little did I know I was going to be punched left, right and center over what was suppose to be a lunch meeting.

I was inspired. My spirits lifted and my heart met with my dreams and aspirations half way. It was all starting to make sense again. My frustration no longer lingers. Actually it still does. So I spent my weekend indoors. Tending to my sickness and health while I let my fantasies run wild. I blocked all things work for I know I have a huge week ahead.

So here I am at the beginning of this huge week and I have no clue where to begin. I figured if I start out the first day of this week writing this blog, things might just pick up. Well for now I don’t know yet. We’ll find out next week. So what is it that is so huge about this week?

It’s all in the name. Since I put it like that, it was also the cause of my frustration. My lost days. My suffering? Ok now that’s just too much. I wasn’t suffering. I was not ready for things I hate to repeat itself yet, it was all happening and I did nothing about it. So this huge week, well I can only say that I am going to get that name! It is my name and I’m proud of it. What name? That name!

We’ll see how it goes. But mark my words, this is the week. Only thing I don’t know is, what day of the week. See you next week.